Descriptive Writing and Linking Paragraphs

For the past two weeks of Term 3 for writing, we have been working on using our five senses and linking paragraphs. We had to write what we think the man in the picture can see, hear, feel, taste and smell, and write it in our perspective (I chose to write in third person view). But before we began writing, we went through a slideshow telling us how to write a proper paragraph.

I found it hard: Linking the last sentence from the first paragraph to the next one.

I found it easy: Finding adjectives (describing words)

I found it fun: Brainstorming the ideas for what we see, hear, feel, smell, and taste

WALT… 
-Use paragraphs to link similar ideas together
-Write in structured, well developed paragraphs that flow well from one to the next within the text
-Use linking words and phrases to link paragraphs for effect

He feebly stumbles to the cold wooden floor, on every attempt of getting up, he fails, his legs were too weak and couldn’t carry him, despite how skinny he looks. As every thunder passes by, his scars would appear, additionally revealing his skin covered in blood, what was covering it was his old, stained clothes, it looked like it hasn’t been washed in ages. He wondered what he would have to do to get this over with, but nothing, his mind was full of negative thoughts rather than thinking about how he would go on. As the rain falls, I could see the littlest light smoothly touch his skin, as the rain gently patted the window panes.

As the raindrops drip, he thought to himself, what would his family be doing right now? The kids would be outside, he remembered what he and his youngsters would do on a rainy day while leaves are fluttering across them. He imagined himself with his daughter and her older brother, holding hands in a circle, dancing and singing joyfully in the rain. His wife would be cooking dinner. He asked himself, "How did it all go downhill?"