Descriptive Writing and Linking Paragraphs

For the past two weeks of Term 3 for writing, we have been working on using our five senses and linking paragraphs. We had to write what we think the man in the picture can see, hear, feel, taste and smell, and write it in our perspective (I chose to write in third person view). But before we began writing, we went through a slideshow telling us how to write a proper paragraph.

I found it hard: Linking the last sentence from the first paragraph to the next one.

I found it easy: Finding adjectives (describing words)

I found it fun: Brainstorming the ideas for what we see, hear, feel, smell, and taste

WALT… 
-Use paragraphs to link similar ideas together
-Write in structured, well developed paragraphs that flow well from one to the next within the text
-Use linking words and phrases to link paragraphs for effect

He feebly stumbles to the cold wooden floor, on every attempt of getting up, he fails, his legs were too weak and couldn’t carry him, despite how skinny he looks. As every thunder passes by, his scars would appear, additionally revealing his skin covered in blood, what was covering it was his old, stained clothes, it looked like it hasn’t been washed in ages. He wondered what he would have to do to get this over with, but nothing, his mind was full of negative thoughts rather than thinking about how he would go on. As the rain falls, I could see the littlest light smoothly touch his skin, as the rain gently patted the window panes.

As the raindrops drip, he thought to himself, what would his family be doing right now? The kids would be outside, he remembered what he and his youngsters would do on a rainy day while leaves are fluttering across them. He imagined himself with his daughter and her older brother, holding hands in a circle, dancing and singing joyfully in the rain. His wife would be cooking dinner. He asked himself, "How did it all go downhill?"

Character Description

WALT: 
- Write a character description
- Use 'show not tell' in our writing

This week we read a book about 'Pig the Star'. We had to write a Character Description about either Pig or Trevor. I found it hard using the 'show not tell'. I found it easy sorting sorting the sentences into the right paragraph. I found it fun making the whole writing.

Pig the Pug - Pig the Pug has a body shaped like a ball causing him to barely move, he as well have big round eyes that’s both looking in different ways, squishy cheeks, and layers of wrinkly skin. He also has a tail that’s curled up and short legs that makes him walk slowly, regards of how large he is.

Pig the pug might not show it physically that he’s a show-off, but once you get to know him, or get to see his true colours, you’ll be annoyed of how much of an attention-seeker he is, he wants all the attention that he could get. Trevor the sausage dog agrees with this statement: “Just ignore him, he just wants attention. The more attention you give, the more he will keep bullying you.”

Because of that, Pig hates it when people try to beat him, or when people get more attention than him. Pig tries to put others down when he notices that somebody’s getting more observation than him. Basically, his mouth is his weapon, it’s all he uses to retaliate, once he spits out words, it’ll hurt others’ feelings. Pig’s reputation is to make others feel unwanted so that they can quit doing what they’re doing, and Pig would steal their spotlight.

Pig is not like other dogs, he’s untidy and his belongings are all over the place. He puts his toys in a pile after he plays with it instead of arranging it from where he got it from. He’d just leave his clothes lying where he took it off instead of putting it in the laundry. After looking for the right outfit/clothes he’s going to wear, he just leaves the unused clothes on the ground. He basically cleans up his room only once a month.

w7t1 descrptive writing (Delia McCoy)

Delia McCoy - by Angie

It was a misty morning, my family went to town, so that means I’m alone by myself. I get bored easily,
suddenly, something just went into my mind, a story that Aunt Rose told me, it was about the house by
the forest that was abandoned, and it was owned by a malicious old woman, named Delia McCoy who
died ages ago, she was well known for casting spells to her fouls. Some people said she uses voodoo
dolls to get revenge to the people that have most hated her, but I didn’t really believe that.

I decided to go through that forest, and see for myself if the rumours were real. It was a thousand mile
walk! As I enter the house, I could feel that wind touch my skin, as I sniff the dust, it blocked my nose. I
took a step forward, the floor creaked loudly. I finally made my way to this room, which I think was the
room she used to do mean stuff that she wasn’t supposed to do, I saw her old voodoo dolls, a few, short
candles, very sharp needles, an enormous cauldron, transparent potion bottles, and lots more.

I looked through the dirty window and saw the the leaves of the trees dancing, as the wind approaches,
I watched the leaves fall to the ground, it wasn’t a quality view, but something made it worse, I saw a girl
standing outside the house, staring at me. My heart raced like a roller coaster, I was breathless, as I
looked away and caught my breath. I asked myself, “Could this be Delia? What is she doing here? I
thought she was dead?” I asked too many questions, I looked out the window again, she was gone. I
panicked. Before I stepped out of the room, I heard a soft but creepy voice, at that point, I think I knew
who it was, I dashed out of the room like a cheetah.

I rushed downstairs, got out of the house, and immediately closed the door. When I got outside, I was in
a refrigerator, It was so cold that I thought I was about to get frozen alive, I forgot to bring my jacket. I
checked my watch, it was 12:15, nearly afternoon! I had to get back before 1 pm, because that’s when
they get back home. I made my way through the forest, thinking of what I just did. The leaves sounded
like ice breaking as I stepped on it.  For some reason, it felt like someone was following me on the way
back home, but nobody was. “I’m just overthinking.” I said to myself in a low voice.

Finally, I made it home safely, but still reflecting, “What if somebody saw me go to that house and tells
my parents?” I asked myself, I didn’t bother to answer that question though. I changed my clothes and
tried to help myself do things while waiting for my parents, hoping I’ll just forget about going to that house
easily.

Nobody knows what happened to Delia McCoy, and who knows if it was her outside the house, at least
I made it home safe, but I won’t forget what happened today, and only YOU shall know about this.