Character
|
Setting
|
Action
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Grumpy Shop Assistant
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Barber Shop
 |
Tripped Over and Cried
 |
One cloudy day, I was about to go to the Barber Shop for work. I woke up at
10AM but I was supposed to be awake at 9AM because I slept late working
on some papers last night. So I hurried up as I rushed through the stairs to
get my lunch. I even forgot to eat my breakfast because I was on a hurry.
Then, I tripped over the stairs. “AHH! OWWW!” I cried. As I got up and called
my boss. “I’m not gonna be able to go to the barber shop because I tripped
over the stairs and my legs still hurts.” I exclaimed. What a day…
10AM but I was supposed to be awake at 9AM because I slept late working
on some papers last night. So I hurried up as I rushed through the stairs to
get my lunch. I even forgot to eat my breakfast because I was on a hurry.
Then, I tripped over the stairs. “AHH! OWWW!” I cried. As I got up and called
my boss. “I’m not gonna be able to go to the barber shop because I tripped
over the stairs and my legs still hurts.” I exclaimed. What a day…
Buddy Checked by:Merika
Suggestions/Marks: It was very funny he should of done his paperwork
after work so he wouldn’t be such an old bag.
after work so he wouldn’t be such an old bag.
Hi (:
ReplyDeleteGood story..I liked the part where she yelled "AHH!OWWW!".
Next time check if it makes sense/if the words are in the right place.
Thanks for the feedback, Shreya. By the way, it's a he, but I forgot to put in that it was a male. Otherwise, thanks for letting me know on what you think about this writing.
DeleteHi
ReplyDeleteit is Merika here I really liked how you done everything and how you set it out you are like the best writer I have ever meet
LoL! Thanks for commenting on my bog, and for the compliment, Merika! Can you think of something on how I can improve this piece of writing? I would love to hear your feedback!
Delete